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What to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate?


When your partner doesn’t want to be intimate, it can be a challenging and sensitive situation. It’s crucial to approach this issue with understanding, empathy, and effective communication to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship. Here are steps to consider:

Open Communication:

  • Initiate a gentle and non-confrontational conversation with your partner to understand their feelings and concerns.
  • Encourage them to share what might be causing their lack of interest in intimacy, whether it’s stress, physical issues, emotional concerns, or other factors.

Listen and Validate:

  • Actively listen to your partner’s perspective and validate their feelings. Let them know that their emotions and concerns are important to you.
  • Avoid judgment or criticism; instead, express your support and understanding.


Reflect on your own expectations and behavior within the relationship. Are there factors that might be affecting your partner’s desire for intimacy that you can address?

Seek Professional Help:

  • If your partner’s lack of interest in intimacy is causing significant distress in the relationship and it continues over an extended period, consider seeking the assistance of a couples’ therapist or a sex therapist.
  • Professional guidance can help both partners explore the underlying issues and work on solutions.

Create a Comfortable Environment:

Ensure your home and relationship environment is conducive to intimacy, with open and honest communication, trust, and emotional safety.

Offer Emotional Support:

  • Emphasize that you are there to support your partner emotionally, regardless of their level of interest in physical intimacy.
  • This reassurance can help alleviate the pressure they may feel.

Explore Alternatives:

While physical intimacy is a vital aspect of a romantic relationship, remember that it can take various forms. Find other ways to connect emotionally and maintain a strong bond in your relationship.

Be Patient:

Understand that changes in intimacy may not happen overnight. It’s crucial to be patient as you work through these issues together.

Respect Boundaries:

Always respect your partner’s boundaries and never pressure or coerce them into any form of physical intimacy. Consent and mutual comfort are of utmost importance.


Take care of your own emotional and physical well-being during this challenging time. Engage in activities that bring you joy and maintain a support network of friends and family.

Remember that intimacy issues can arise for various reasons, and addressing them with empathy and respect is key. Whether the resolution involves a return to intimacy or a redefined approach to your relationship, the most important thing is to work through it together as a team.

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